Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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