Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize