i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
