whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
