There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
