Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
