it wasn't lemon gatorade
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
