I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
