thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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