This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
