can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
