the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
