we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
