So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
