Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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