I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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