i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
