we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
