you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize