Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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