Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize