So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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