3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
