Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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