I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss