You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit