she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate