it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.