I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?