Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
