My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
barbara walters just said penis...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
