That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
