It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
