no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize