He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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