Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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