I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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