I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize