I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
