i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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