I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize