Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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