the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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