Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
