official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
