Pants 0. Shit 1.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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