your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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