i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
