Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
