bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
