It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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