my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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