just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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