Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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