the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
