PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
