I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
