You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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