I'm lost and stupid without you.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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