i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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