Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize