I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
