a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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