I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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