I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
