Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
