and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
