pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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