If i come over, it means nothing
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
