my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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