Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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