Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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